"Well everybody, I don't want to take up too much of your drinking time so I'll keep this brief."
Writing a groom's speech is no easy feat. You want to keep all your guests entertained and deliver a groom's speech with plenty of laughs. You'll also want to tell your bride just how happy she’s made you. But one major factor of any groom’s wedding speech is limiting some of the damage about to be inflicted on you by your best man.
Roasting the groom is a long standing tradition, which your guests (as much as many of them say they love you) will be looking forward to. Your mates will be desperate to laugh at your expense forward to his character assassination of you, even your new bride, despite the fact she's madly in love with you, is going to laugh at some of his comedy bullets. But you can't let him get away scot free so we’ve created hundreds of gags specifically to help you fire the first shots in this battle of wedding speech side splitters.
THE GROOM’S SPEECH GUIDE
The Groom's speech is traditionally given 2nd, after the father of the bride and before the best man.
Your wedding speech is probably the most important speech you're ever going to give. There are so many people to thank, special mentions to give, words to your new family, the special words you want to give your blushing bride on the most important day of her life and in can be difficult fitting it all in, or even knowing which order to put them into your groom’s speech so here’s a few handy groom's speech writing tips.
The perfect length of the Groom's speech is about 7 minutes but if you do think it’s going to run longer then don't panic, it's more important that you don't miss anyone in your thank yous. However try not to make it overly long, remember, you have a lot of thirsty guests who will all be keen to enjoy make the most of the bar.
Top Tip - Practice your speech out loud and time yourself to get an idea of how long it is.
Over 4,000 wedding speech jokes, quotes and toasts.
Compiled and written by professional comedy writers.
Easy to use, step by step system and free speech writing guide.
Work on your wedding speech at your own pace.
Don't swear! Remember this will be a very mixed crowd and there will probably be kids present so avoid swearing, this is your wedding day, you should aim to be a prince, not a bad 70’s comedian.
The same goes for any groom’s speech wedding jokes you use, what might seem really funny down the pub on a Friday night probably isn't going to go down well with the bride's grandparents.
Top Tip – Need extra help with your jokes? We have hundreds in our Wedding Speech Jokes Database.
Is There Anything I Have To Include?
It's customary during the groom's speech to thank the bridesmaids, ushers, pageboys, and all those who contributed towards the wedding. This is when you'll present any gifts. It's also traditional to offer a toast to the bridesmaids. One other very important thank you is to both mothers with a gift.
Of course you know your best man well but not everyone might have met him so give him a brief introduction as to how you know each other and why you picked him as your best man and thank him for taking on the role (but perhaps reserve judgement until after his speech). This is a great chance to aim some jokes at him.
It's also considered good form to mention members of the bride’s family and your own siblings.
Don't Forget The Bride
Believe it or not this does happen. We’ve witnessed first-hand grooms who after thanking everyone, delivering their speech and sitting down with relief at delivering their speech without a hitch suddenly shoot back up onto their feet having just remembered they forgot to mention their new wife!
Top Tip – Don't ad-lib your speech on the day, you'll forget someone so prepare it well in advance.
And throughout your speech remember that you are speaking on her behalf as well.
Keep it light
You'll be amazed how many tough guys actually get a bit tearful during their vows or while giving their wedding speech (Random Wedding Fact - statistically more grooms cry at weddings than brides). But during your speech when it's time to be sincere try not to go overboard. It’s nice to give some kind words and say what a great mate the best man is or how much you love your new wife but remember it's a wedding not an Oscar acceptance speech, so try and keep it light (if in doubt just stay focused on how much grief your mats will give you if you cry).
The Basic Phases
The perfect groom's speech can be broken down into the following phases;
Thank your new father in law for his speech and also thank everyone for coming. If you can try to get in an early wedding speech joke during the opening of your speech to relax yourself and your audience
2. The formal bit
Thank the bridesmaids, ushers and everyone who has played a part in the wedding, as well as those who helped to make it happen, this is when you'll present any gifts. Thank the mothers (it's also tradition to present the mothers with flowers or a gift) and reply to any comments from the father of the bride during his toast.
Thank your parents for making you the man you have become (this also helps shift some of the blame!). Also thank the bride's parents for all their help with the wedding and welcoming you to their family. Remember this is also a big day for all the parents.
4. Your Story
Not all your guests will know how you met or the story of your relationship (but give them the highlights and fun stuff rather than a matrimonial version of War and Peace).
5. The Best Man
Thank your best man and if you can warn your guests about the gags you know he's going to shoot at you. This is your chance to draw first blood. (You'll find plenty of groom's speech jokes to fire at your best man in our Groom's Speech Builder)
6. Your Bride
You should reserve the last words of your speech for your bride; how she has made you feel today, what she means to you and thank her in advance for all she is soon going to have to put up with.
7. The Toast
End your speech by giving a toast to the bridesmaids.
At the end of your speech handover to your best man. This is your last chance to either get a in a pre-emptive strike or plead for leniency.
If you think your Best Man, the Father of the Bride or Bride need a helping hand with their speeches then tell them about our other websites.